On Bringing Our Ordination Questions into the Post-Christian PC(USA) Era, from the Presbytery of Gaia
Rationale to the Overture
The Presbyterian Church (USA), having driven out most of its orthodox Reformed or otherwise deplorable members, is now entering a new and exciting phase of spiritual transformation! One potential impediment to achieving our deepest self-spiritual goals is the continued existence of our current Ordination Questions for Officers.
Recent events and statements by PC(USA) governing bodies and elite leaders have demonstrated how utterly obsolete these questions have become. In particular, they no longer accurately convey the spiritual, ideological or theological characteristics required for effective leadership in the PC(USA).
The issue is that, although the current Ordination Questions are generally unthinkingly recited and then utterly ignored by the majority of our Officers (particularly so now that so many orthodox or otherwise deplorable members have been driven out, praise be to our true selves!), a few remain who foolishly think that they have the purpose and meaning associated with the words that comprise them.
These unenlightened few are thus empowered to claim that our Officers who follow their feelings into true spiritual enlightenment are acting in opposition to their stated vows. Although these few will have no real impact on the PC(USA)’s direction, they can cause unnecessary negative feelings (so unnecessary, recall our Most Woke Prophet’s definition of sin: “Being out of alignment with my values.”) in our Officers as they conform to the universe’s spiritual meta-force and history’s march to utopia.
The following sections will provide justification for the changes proposed to each individual Ordination Questing based on recent events and statements by PC(USA) governing bodies and elite leaders.
a. Do you trust in Jesus Christ
your Savior, acknowledge him [them] Lord [your imaginary best friend] of all and Head of the Church [“amen” shouter to your feelings], and through him believe in one [some] God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit [or no God]?
Although the PC(USA) mustn’t totally abandon references to “Jesus Christ,” (after all, we want the credulous to think we’re still “Christian”) it’s absolutely clear from the set of same-gender marriage Rationales generated by our Presbyteries that this is just a perfunctory gesture. What else can we conclude given that in over 24,000 words of Overture Rationale argumentation in support of same-gender marriage the PC(USA) Presbytery proponents did not once quote Jesus Christ? The answer is obviously that he is not our “lord and savior” but rather an ancient guy who started a really cool movement. But now we’re in charge, so we can use this dead and dust man to justify any and all of our Progressive ideas.
With regard to removal of the obsolete Trinitarian God idea, we are justified by that Very Woke Prophet from the Fourth Presbyterian Church of Chicago, the Rev. Shannon Kershner. We quote from the March 7, 2018 Sun Times interview titled Prominent Presbyterian pastor: ‘God’s not a Christian . . . We are’.
Interviewer: Is Christianity the only way to get to heaven, if heaven exists?
Rev. Kershner: No! God’s not a Christian, I mean we are.
So if “God’s not a Christian” then Jesus Christ can’t be the Second Person of the Christian Trinitarian God. And if Jesus Christ is removed then the Trinity is dissolved and in its place can be any god that anyone wants to imagine!
With regard to the “or no God” phrase, the fact that the the Presbytery of the Cascades ordained an open atheist as a minister and the PC(USA) rewarded them with the honor of hosting the 222nd General Assembly, we can confidently infer that all need for a “god” in the PC(USA) has been erased! Praise be to our true selves!
b. Do you accept
the [selected] Scriptures [and Gnostic Gospels] of the Old and New [New] Testament s to be, by the Holy Spirit [ancient human myth-making], the unique [optional] and authoritative [occasionally useful] witness to Jesus Christ in the Church universal [my inner self], and God’s [or nothing’s] Word [Gnosis] to you?
When the PC(USA) endorsed the “New New Testament” on their official denominational web site the clear signal was sent that the “Bible” is fair game to be ripped apart and reconstituted. The “New New Testament” is a project by The Jesus Seminar to add ten Gnostic texts to the current New Testament!
The “star” of the Gnosticism-celebrating Presbyterian News Service article is the Exceedingly Woke Prophet Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow. Here’s his bio from the “A New New Testament: A Bible for the 21st Century Combining Traditional and Newly Discovered Texts” web site.
Bruce Reyes-Chow is a Presbyterian minister, blogger, and social media consultant based in San Francisco, California. Bruce was the founding pastor of the young adult faith community Mission Bay Community Church; he was elected as the youngest-ever Moderator of the Presbyterian Church (USA) in 2008 and recently published the e-book The Definitive-ish Guide for Using Social Media in the Church.
Note that in 2008 commissioners to the PC(USA) General Assembly elected the Rev. Reyes-Chow to be their Moderator. A mere five years later this elite PC(USA) leader enthusiastically participated in a group bent on creating a Gnostic “New New Testament,” that had significant overlap with members of the Jesus Seminar. The Rev. Reyes-Chow remains as an honored Officer in the PC(USA), so we are completely justified in proposing expansion of the New Testament to include ten Gnostic books.
With regard to ejecting the Old Testament, isn’t the justification obvious?
To propose getting rid of the Old Testament as Christian Scripture seems extreme. But when I attended the Berlin conference, I came to see that Slenczka’s perspective is not as far-fetched or eccentric as I had imagined. In fairness, his proposal was raised, by his own admission, in a spirit of provocation. In that he succeeded. In the process, he exposed an unsettling reality. Some of the basic assumptions of modern biblical scholarship dovetail only too snugly with the basic assumption of modern systematic theology. Together, they make Slenczka’s rejection of the Old Testament as Christian Scripture frighteningly plausible. We’re culpably irresponsible if we don’t confront those assumptions.
We post-Christian PC(USA) leaders happily “confront these assumptions” and reject the Old Testament God as the Demiurge.
Our Rationale will be continued in the next post.